Practice some today this 🙏🏻💕 If you live with mental illness like I do it is important to be gentle with yourself always. If you haven’t practiced or I strongly recommend it. Have a great Saturday! I will be posting two blogs tomorrow. One on my story and one on how the practice of yoga and meditation has helped me with my bipolar disorder, eating disorder and anxiety disorder. 😊💚
The “represents a sentence the author could have ended, but chose not to. The sentence is your life and you are the author.” My first tattoo I got last night to represent my fight against depression. It meant even more to me that I got this while I am battling a depressive episode with my bipolar disorder. This will be a daily reminder to never give up. 💚🌗😊
My depression unfortunately has returned in the past couple weeks along with my bulimia. I know with my bipolar disorder I will have episodes regardless of medication and therapy. I know to be easy on myself. I have reached out to friends, had my medication increased and even did yoga and meditation last night. It is okay to have a bumpy road during recovery. I know if I get worse as my psychiatrist recommended, that I will do an inpatient treatment especially for my bulimia. Thank you for everyone who has followed me on my journey and can relate to my words. I love you all 💕 Remember you are still here and are a walking miracle. This prose is inspired by 🖋
I have found that the people who say the most hurtful things are often hurting the most themselves. It doesn’t mean you should allow a person to keep hurting you but to be more understanding and realize it has nothing to do with you. It is a battle they are fighting within themselves 🧘🏻♀️🖋💕Art is by 🎨
Can you find the hidden meaning in the title here? It is where the word “empathy” is derived from. I see my disorder as a strength and challenge the belief of how it limits a person or makes a person seem weak. Through my suffering, I have become very empathetic being seen as a mentor, counselor and teacher to those around me. I wouldn’t change my disorder for the world since it allows me to connect with others and always be here to help those in need. What does your mental illness help you with? Does it allow you to be more creative? Resilient? Realistic? Loving? Understanding? Advocate? Speak your mind? Art is by 🎨
Miss that person but never return to what destroyed you. It takes a lot for me to completely cut someone off (what I refer to as the INFJ door slam) but when I do, I don’t come back. You sometimes have to do this with people who continuously hurt you. Unfortunately, I had to do this with someone I very much loved recently. It was not healthy for me and I couldn’t keep in contact. Make sure you put yourself first. Thank you for reading my work 😊🙏🏻🖋 Have a great Friday!
Sex is easy to find. Love is not. We avoid it to try to not get hurt. So you have sex with a stranger while still in love with someone else. You try to fill the void of missing someone, attempting to erase those feelings, but I promise the gratification won’t last. This is raw, erotic and personal. We all have been there. Have a great Friday! 💕 I am going out tonight for some drinks 🍸 My finals are over so you will be seeing some new work soon loves. Thank you for reading my work and supporting me while I share pieces of myself on here. On my bad days I look at the messages and comments that you all send me. Thank you. Art is by 🎨
And you act like that is a bad thing? Do you hold on to hope for a dream, overcoming a physical or mental illness, past lover or friendship? We hold on because we have hope. That is why you can’t let go or give up. Inspired by a conversation with one of my best friends 💕😊
Should be studying but sad songs, poetry & green tea 🥀🖋🍵 are calling my name. I’m a little under the weather today so forgive me if I don’t reply to your messages 🤒😷Hope you all are feeling well and have a great Sunday 😊 Thank you for reading my words. It means the world to me 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Body Dysmorphia, Bulimia & Anxiety Post ⚠️ I took this picture yesterday after having a great day spent with my mom shopping. I felt confident, happy and classy. In the past you would rarely find me posting pictures of myself since I never liked pictures of myself because (I always found something wrong about the way I looked in them). It used to be a struggle to not obsess over my weight and facial features. I recently relapsed in binging and purging which I thought was long gone from my high school and early college days. I was so upset with myself and wondered why this happened. I know to be gentle with myself.....I used to be underweight during that time and even in late 2016/early 2017 due to eating very little and excessively exercising. I would go to the gym 7 days a week, eat less than 1,000 calories a day and weighed a little over a 100. My dad commented on my low weight Christmas of 2016 when I thought I looked great. I even binged and purged that Christmas 2016. My bulimia tormented me until around April of 2017 right before my 4 month depressive episode and came back this January randomly....
Gaining weight from my bipolar medication has been difficult for me over the past few months along with stress of my graduate program. I am glad to be stable but it is still hard for me. I had terrible anxiety attacks on Tuesday where I could not move or sleep. I had to call out of work and give myself a mental heath day. I am lucky I work for such a great company and have amazing coworkers who understand me.
I slowly am adjusting to my medication and gaining muscle back becoming a healthy weight (Even though I would see myself as "fat" when this is a healthy weight for me) as well as learning to prioritize assignments and coping mechanisms. I am practicing meditation more to remain calm since my bulimia in the past stems from stress most of the time and of course body dysmorphia. I am still learning to love myself and that is absolutely okay 💕 Recovery is an every day battle. No one is perfect. Hope you take some time today to yourself. You deserve it. Take that selfie. Feel confident. Love yourself. 🙏🏻😊🧘🏻♀️
Don’t let your pride get the best of you. She may feel the same way. I always have and always will believe in second chances. Sometimes it was just bad timing. I sure have been there. If you’re lucky enough to get another chance with her, don’t mess it up this time. Let go of your ego and fear. 🖋🙏🏻💕
This is so hard to do at times but is needed to truly let go and move on. From my own personal experience, continuing contact with people of the past is not healthy but you can always wish them the best. You will not move on with negative feelings towards others nor having an open communication line to bring up the past. Let go. Remember to turn on my post notifications due to the new algorithm 😅 Have a great Sunday 😊
If you are not feeling good energy around someone or that person can not bring any motivation, ambition, kindness etc. to your life, let that person or people go. What do they bring to the table? What do they have to offer since you have so much to offer already? Are you the only person in your friend group or relationship with goals? How do these people treat you? Do these people respect you? Ask yourself this and you will see that often these people are holding you back from your full potential. Outgrowing people in friendships and relationships is a part of life. The five people you associate with the most reflect upon who you are as a person.
“A theory that has a growing amount of clinical evidence behind it: the depressive realism theory, argues that depressed people aren’t depressed because they distort reality; they’re depressed because they see reality more clearly than other people do.”- Psychiatrist, Professor, Director & Author Dr. Nassir Ghaemi 🙏🏻 Depression is often linked to high intelligence and leadership which is discussed in Dr. Ghaemi’s book, “A First-Rate Madness”, discussing Wintston Churchill’s bipolar 2 disorder to Ghandi’s suicide attempt and severe depression. 🖋💚 Never think for a moment you can not use your mental illness to help make you stronger and a better person.